Monthly Archives: October 2014

Oct312014

4 Ideas to Make Christmas planning for 2015 Easier … And 1 Tip To Help Out with Christmas 2014

OK, I admit it … I am starting with my Christmas planning for 2014. And today is October 31st. My youngest daughter will be trick or treating tonight. So yeah, technically I guess I should wait until tomorrow to write this post.

But then, haven’t we been bombarded in certain stores with Christmas decorations and presents already?!?!?! So this isn’t earth-shattering or anything. And the whole point of this post is to plan ahead, so I guess that makes this OK.

So here it is; these are a few ideas I want to share with you about getting ready for the Christmas season. Most of these are things that I have been doing for at least a few years now, and they do indeed help me.

And just so you know, I refuse to be politically correct here. I celebrate Christmas – and I make no apologies for that. Other folks celebrate what they want to, and call it whatever they want. And that’s OK. So by the same token, it’s OK if I talk about Christmas, and let other holidays be talked about by other folks. After all, my family’s farm is a Christmas tree farm – so that’s what I know!

Start a Christmas savings account

Start a Christmas Fund: Call it a Christmas Club account, or whatever you like – your bank probably offers it. Mine does. I set up my Christmas Club account last November (it took about 10 minutes) online with my bank – and it will definitely be handy for 2014. I had been planning to set one up for the past couple years, but never got around to it until last year. And if your bank doesn’t have a special account option for that, see if you can set up a separate savings account that you use for Christmas shopping, etc. The point is to set up an account and contribute to it monthly. It doesn’t have to be much each month; $25 each month adds up to $300 in Christmas cash. Make it automatic so you don’t forget – “idiot-proof” is my preferred way to save. Because if I have to remember to make a deposit each month, to either my regular savings account or any other account, I will forget more often than I remember. So tell your bank to make the transfer each month, and that’s one less thing for you to worry about. (Hint – this is also a great option for those end-of-the-year horrors, like property taxes, etc. Ouch. That gets me every year! So this account will take the sting out of it – you contribute a little each month, and so when the bill comes due you aren’t left wondering if there will even BE a Christmas at your house this year.)

Stash away Christmas wrapping paper and gift bags

Start a Stash of Gift Boxes, Bags, Wrapping Paper, Etc: This is something I actually HAVE done for a few years. I have a plastic tote where I store gift bags, gift boxes, and Christmas wrapping paper that I bought for 1/2 price or less after Christmas last year. If you have a little extra space you can designate a shelf to hold these items. Just be cautious about shopping the after-Christmas sales. You can get some great deals, but you have to be smart about it. And that’s assuming you actually have a little money left over after Christmas.

Make your own gift tags

Make Your Own Gift Tags: Anyone who does scrapbooking (I do not) will have all the tools they need to make this happen. All those cute punches and stencils … you can go nuts! You can put yourself into a creative coma with all that stuff. My grandmother made her own gift cards and gift tags, and she didn’t even have all those nifty stencils and punches – just a lot of creativity (and time … she had a lot of time.) But I learned from her, and my youngest daughter and I put together gift tags using cardstock, ink pads and stamps, buttons and ribbon, etc. My daughter has inherited much of my grandmother’s creativity. So have at it … take cardstock, or recycle cards you have received over the year and won’t keep, and make gift tags that will dazzle all those recipients on your gift list this year. And store them in the above mentioned tote or shelf with the gift wrap, boxes, and bags you will have so skillfully “liberated” from the store this coming January with very little coinage.

Get some free stuff for stocking stuffers

Don’t Forget the Stocking Stuffers: I like to coupon sometimes. Not in the excessive “Extreme Couponing” way, but I am always happy to get a screamin’ good deal at the grocery store. And I have turned this “skill” into a nice haul for my daughters’ Christmas stockings this year. These are all things that I have “liberated” from the store – and by “liberate” I do not mean “steal.” But they ended up being free or almost-free after sales and coupons: nail polish, candy bars (the fancy kind that are usually at least $3 per bar) nail files, lip gloss, gummie bears and other assorted goodies, razors (again, not the cheap kind), little cosmetics bags, DVDs and CDs, etc. This may not sound like great stuff, but these are stocking stuffers … OK. The really good stuff they get under the tree. And I am not running around at the last minute, trying to gather items to put in their stockings … which has happened in years past. So how do you get the great deals? By combining coupons (you can get them from the Sunday newspaper or print them online) with sales at your local/favorite stores. You can check out any of the many couponing websites for these great deals and more instructions. I like www.couponmom.com, and the Facebook pages “” and “.” Hint – having a tub-o-goodies around is great for last minute little gifts for birthdays, etc. that might sneak up on you. Know the feeling?!

And here’s the tip to help out with Christmas 2014:

Free printable gift buying checklist

Get a gift buying checklist – like the one here. (This is from Liz at “Life In Yellow” – I found her great blog and her awesome printables and feel they are worthy of sharing. Thanks, Liz!) These are great for keeping track of whom you have bought gifts for and for whom you have left to buy, so no one gets forgotten. What an awful feeling to realize you forgot to buy a present for someone! Oops … guess that won’t happen once you are using the above-mentioned tip of getting a handy stash of goodies together. But until then … use the gift buying checklist.

So there it is, for what it’s worth. A few ideas that I have used, and am using, to make Christmas a little less stressful for me. And hopefully they can help you, too. Do you have any tips to share about making Christmas planning (or your particular holiday season) more manageable for you? Please share them in the comments below. Or better yet … write a blog post about them! Then come back and share the link to the blog post in the comments section. Would that work? I hope so! Let’s do it – we’ll help each other out and make things a little more sane for all of us.

Oct302014

Health Journey Update – 10/30

Well, it’s been quite awhile since I have checked in and updated my “health journey,” so I thought it was about time. Things have been crazy, and not necessarily in a good way. Being unemployed sucks, and it has played hell with my motivation to get healthier. Plus, the weather here has taken a turn for the worse, like I knew it would eventually. Lots of wind and rain lately, and I just haven’t been able to muster up the motivation to go hiking. But here is picture from a recent hike that I wanted to share with you.

Some deer at the State Park, enjoying a little breakfast

So, due to the weather, it looks like the hikes have been curtailed for awhile. But that will not stop me! Even though I haven’t been exercising like I wanted to, I still haven’t gained back any weight! That is the one saving grace right now.

So what’s next? Well, I mentioned earlier in a post, when I started this health journey, that I love to dance and used to be a Zumba instructor. So I will go back to using my Zumba exercise DVDs. And I am adding another type of dance back into my repertoire – BALLET! I used to take classes in ballet, both in middle school, and then again in college for PE credit.

I was reminded of how much I missed it when I sat in on my youngest daughter’s ballet class last Friday. I hadn’t given it much thought … until I sat there and watched the teacher and her class. I missed it so much! So I thought, “Hey, why not add that back into my exercise program?” So I did!

I ordered a ballet DVD from Amazon.com. And I can’t wait until it arrives!

Yup, that’s the one! Why not join me? You can click on the link above, and order your own copy … and then let me know if you like the workout.

So what is your favorite workout? What are your tips and tricks to maintain motivation? Go ahead … share in the comment section below.

Oct282014

National Chocolate Day! My holiday!

Chocolate, and more chocolate!

Yes, I am a professed “chocoholic.” I love chocolate.

I blame my grandmother, my dad’s mom. She was a dyed-in-the-wool chocoholic before there was even a name for that particular condition. She used to tell us that she ate a hot fudge sundae every day that she was pregnant with my dad. When I was a child, that sounded like heaven to me; now that I am a mom, and have gone through 2 pregnancies, it sounds a little sick. Or maybe I am just jealous; my grandmother was always very slender and tiny, and the thought of being able to eat like that during a period of time when I personally gained weight by just looking at food just seems obscene. But I digress …

From the National Day Calendar website:

“National Chocolate Day is celebrated annually on October 28. While there are many chocolate related holidays throughout the year, National Chocolate Day is a day to celebrate all things chocolate. As America’s favorite flavor, chocolate is well deserving of it’s own day of honor and celebration.”

Here, here! I agree, and heartily concur.

And look what else I found on their website:

RESEARCH HAS FOUND THAT CHOCOLATE, WHEN EATEN IN MODERATION, CAN LOWER BLOOD PRESSURE.

YES! I love it … expect for the “moderation” part.

If you are interested in learning more about how it is made, you can visit their website to find out. There are also links to a few “tried and true” recipes there as well.

Oh yeah, and this “unofficial” holiday was started by … wait for it … the National Confectioners Association. That makes sense, I guess. Maybe they also had a hand in Valentine’s Day as well?

So what’s your favorite kind of chocolate? Got a favorite chocolate recipe? Share with us! It’s good to share, especially when it comes to chocolate.

Oct272014

“What Will We Do If You Die?”

Planning for death

This is a question that I should have asked myself and my husband much sooner than I did. My husband, Robby, passed away about 3 1/2 years ago from a brain tumor. We were forced to face this question head on during the year that he fought his cancer. Just this morning I was reminded of that time when I saw a post from another young widow, talking about 6 Things that Married Couples Need To Do RIGHT NOW To Prepare for the Unlikely Death of a Spouse. You can click on the link to read her entire post. It’s a good one. The only think I would tack onto it would be to talk about what your spouse would like in terms of burial, cremation, memorial service/funeral, etc. This gives you a chance to know what their final wishes are, and plan a service that will reflect THEM. Robby and I talked (jokingly) about what he would like in a memorial service. This was long before we were faced with his cancer, so it wasn’t a morbid thing at all. He always joked that he wanted a black gospel choir to perform – he loved that kind of rich, Southern heritage in his music. Since black gospel choirs are in short supply where we live, my daughters and I found an alternative; my oldest found a recording of Peace in the Valley, performed by Sister Rosetta Tharpe.

You can also check out my own take on discussing things with your spouse here, at Having An End Of Life Discussion. This is from my other blog, Psalms 68:5 – Restoral. I’m no longer posting to this site, but there are still some good articles there nonetheless.

Oct232014

Worthy or Worthless?

I have been struggling with this a lot lately … alternating between these two extremes. Feeling worthy and confident one day, then worthless and rejected the next.

The reason for this introspection? I lost my job.

This was my job as a 911 call taker. The job that I loved and felt good about. The job where I beat out about 150 other applicants. The job where I had endured six months of training and DORs (Daily Observation Reports) in order to solo.

And as of October 9th, I was called into the HR Director’s office and told that I was being “let go.” They had my final paycheck all ready and everything. I was told to surrender my ID badge and locker key, and was walked to my locker so I could gather my things and go home. I almost felt like a criminal.

And I didn’t do anything wrong! Broke no rules, etc. Their reason for letting me go was this: I had a “few areas of concern” during a 3 month evaluation. I was told that I needed to do some extra training with my old trainer for about 2 weeks. “Sure” I said … whatever needed to be done, I would do it. They were relatively minor things – no big mistakes or huge gaffs. When I finished the 2 week training, I was told by my old trainer that I had done well and showed improvement.

But that wasn’t the case, I guess. When calling into the HR Director’s office that morning I was told that yes, I had shown improvement but not as much as they had hoped. I’m still not vey clear on what exactly those “areas of concern” were in the first place. But, be that as it may, I was let go.

Interesting that just a month prior to all this my agency hired 4 new 20-something call takers. And during the hiring process the background investigator had made some pointed comments about my age, telling me that this job was very stressful for “people my age.” I will let you draw your own conclusions. I’m just sayin’.

So I have been feeling rather worthless lately. I know that I didn’t do anything wrong. I know that my performance was up to par with my co-workers. But that doesn’t change the fact that I was fired. And this is the very first job in my life from which I have been fired. I was embarrassed to tell my family and friends. Many of them I haven’t told yet. Although, if they read my blog, they will now know this. I have started looking for a new job – started looking right away, in fact. I have sent out applications and resumes, and am attending a job fair tomorrow.

And I have had to remind myself that my self-worth is not tied up in:

what job I have, or don’t have
how my child is doing in school
what year, make and model car I drive
my relationship status
how many followers I have on my blog
how many likes/follows I have on Facebook or Twitter
how I look in my workout clothes

These are all things that have “bugged” me from time to time about my life, and that I have allowed to make me feel less than worthy. But I need to stop that, and realize that my worth is not determined by those outward measurements. We try to teach out children that it’s what’s on the inside that matters most. I need to keep that in mind for myself as well.

Oct222014

Debt Snowball – How It Works for Me

Debt Snowball

Have you heard about the Debt Snowball Method for debt reduction? It’s a great system to get rid of debt, and it’s worked great for me. Here are some of the things I have learned about how get the most out of it:

Write out your debts – Ouch! This can be a little painful. Facing the facts about how deep in debt you are is not fun, trust me. But it needs to be done! You need to have a clear picture of your starting point, otherwise you will not have a clear picture of your course of action. You wouldn’t attempt to run a race without knowing where the finish line was located, now would you?
Stop spending – Seriously, just stop – getting further into debt by using your credit cards, I mean. Stop digging that hole! It’s deep enough already; that’s why you are in this situation in the first place. You can’t expect to climb out of a hole that keeps getting deeper and deeper. So cut up those cards – get out the big scissors, and make a ceremony of it if you like. Celebrate this first step toward getting rid of the millstone that is debt hanging around your neck.
Automate any bill paying that you can – If your bank offers automated bill paying – DO IT! Especially for bills like car payments, church tithes, credit line payments, etc. Any bills where you pay the same amount each month are prime candidates for automated bill paying. And while you’re at it – sign up for paperless billing. Most of my bills are sent to me by email, and show up on my online banking when I log into my bank’s website. So easy! And you won’t forget to pay bills and end up paying late charges because you forgot.
Identify the smallest payoff amount and tackle that one first – pick off an easy one, and “thin the herd.” I know – that sounds like a hunting metaphor, and it is. But you are hunting for financial freedom, are you not?! Ok, that’s corny – I know. But it works. Getting a small “win” in the beginning keeps you motivated to stick with it. Then, when that debt is paid off, move on to the next largest debt and tackle that one. But here’s the key – take the amount that you were paying on the first debt and add that to the amount you are paying for the second debt. For example, I paid off Credit Card #1 first and was paying $100 per month until it was paid off; now I take that $100 per month that I was paying for Credit Card #1 (I’m used to having that $100 “spoken for” each month anyway, so it’s relatively painless) and apply that to Credit Card #2’s payment of $250 each month – taking my payment for Credit Card #2 each month up to $350, and thereby paying Credit Card #2 off that much sooner. The amount of money that gets freed up gets progressively larger, and your debts go down progressively quicker.

Here is an article that says very much the same thing I have been saying; this matches up well with my own experience. 5 Secrets to Mastering Dave Ramsey’s Snowball Debt Snowball Method

And here is the link to Dave Ramsey’s website, and the article about the debt snowball, to get you started: Get Out of Debt with the Debt Snowball

Oct212014

Halloween on a Budget

decorated pumpkins

Everywhere you look lately – it’s all about Halloween. Now you need to know up front that I don’t make a big deal about Halloween. I reserve my money and enthusiasm for other holidays. That’s not to say that we don’t do anything for Halloween – we just don’t go all-out, full-bore like many folks.

In fact, as far as money spent on a holiday, some would say that Halloween comes in second only to Christmas. I would say that’s probably about right. With all the decorations that go up this month, all the kids that get dress up each year to go trick or treating, all the adults that get dressed up to go to parties and events, and all the candy/food that is bought/consumed for both those activities – you have a hefty price tag each year. So how do you have fun and still stay within your budget?

There is a great article I came across recently, all about budget-friendly ideas for this time of year. And here is it: How To Budget Your Spending This Halloween.

My favorite trick this year? Shop for a costume at Goodwill! My youngest daughter is now 11, and right at the age where she isn’t really sure if she’s too old for trick or treating but still wants to dress up in a cool costume. So we went to the seasonal costume store that springs up around the first of October, and specializes in all things Halloween and spooky. We went there to get ideas, and she got lots. But the costume that she picked out (she wanted to be a “Sugar Skull”, whatever that is) was a nifty $50 -$60 dollars. Mom wasn’t ready to shell that out just yet. So a few days later we went to our town’s Goodwill. We went looking for ideas, and again we found lots. So now youngest daughter will be a “Steam Punk” – my oldest daughter informs me that’s kinda like Charles Dickens meets Punk Rock. And we found a dress, new tights, and cool boots there for $16. Score!

Budget Costume from Goodwill

Another great idea is to use face paint rather than a mask. There are some hazards with your little one wearing a mask; they are not able to see as well with a mask on their face, blocking their field of vision, and masks can get hot and uncomfortable. All you need is a little creativity and some paint – here’s some inspiration from Vocalpoint – Face Painting Ideas for Halloween.

And all that candy? Buy in bulk. There are lots of places that have the big bags of candy, and you can get treats at a better price. Budget the amount you want to spend, and stick to that amount.

Here’s a great tip, too – don’t let those little trick or treat-ers stick their hands in the candy bowl. In other words, YOU be the one to dole out the candy; then you will be better able to control how much is taken and you won’t run out as early. Sounds mean, I know. But hey, it’s better than having to turn kids away from your door later because you ran out of candy.

With a little bit of planning and creativity, you can still have a fun time this Halloween – and not blow up your budget.

This post was also shared with Motivation Monday Linky Party.

Oct202014

Widow Musings

widow musings

Here’s the deal: things change when you become a widow. Yeah, I’m in a contemplative mood this morning, so brace yourselves – I feel the need for a rant coming on. You’ve been warned.

I just need to get a few things out on paper (or my computer screen, as it were) and out of my head.

I feel like a square peg in a round hole. I don’t fit in with the singles, because I have been married. I don’t fit in with the marrieds, because I am no longer married. My married friends have quit calling me and hanging out with me, and that happened almost immediately following the memorial service. I’m not sure why – maybe they thought it was catching.

This change in status was not my idea. I didn’t make a choice to leave a relationship; I didn’t make the choice to move from married to widowed. And I am not a single mom, I am a widowed mom. Yes, there is a difference. It may be subtle to many people, but it’s there just the same. When you get divorced your ex is still a part of your life, if you have kids. You can continue to co-parent. When you’re a widow or a widower you are on your own, and pulling double duty.

I am jealous of married people sometimes now. They still have what I don’t have anymore. I wonder if they know how fragile their lives together can be – do they appreciate what they have? Do they understand just what it’s like to live without a life partner? When you’ve had that person in your life, and tasted that kind of relationship – and then suddenly it’s gone?

Most of the time I don’t focus on the loss; I focus on what I have, and what my future may hold. But every so often I need to just wallow a bit. Become a little melancholy and brood; yes, even throw a pity part with myself as guest of honor. I need to be honest, with myself and with those around me – being a widow really sucks sometimes. It’s very lonely, and there’s no one there who shares the load. So every so often I get to gripe and complain. And I put it on this blog, so everyone can “enjoy” it. And that makes me feel a little better. Because sometimes you just gotta share the icky stuff too.

Oct172014

Movie Review – “Moms Night Out”

Moms Night Out

I watched “Moms Night Out” a few nights ago, and immediately decided I wanted to write a review of it. I had been waiting awhile to see it, because I am too cheap to go see a movie when it’s in theaters. Just kidding; truth is, I don’t have the time to go see a movie when it’s in theaters – thereby showing the need for my own “moms night out.” But I digress …

Maybe I responded to this movie because the main character is a “mommy blogger” like many of us. She has a blog that she randomly posts to, and very few readers. I can relate. She also has 3 kids under the age of (I am guessing here) 6 years old, and an obsession with cleaning – to this I cannot relate. I have two daughters, one 22 and one 11, and a house that is rarely THAT clean, although I do try. But again … back to the review.

The main premise of the movie revolves around the main mom character and two of her mom friends, all very different types of moms in different maternal situations, who go on a night out that goes horribly awry.

Husbands are left at home to manage the kids – and we all know the clichés about inept dads who, when faced with their own small progeny, can’t manage a coherent thought. Thankfully, this movie doesn’t go there. Or at least if it does, doesn’t linger there for long. The men in this movie are not portrayed as clueless fathers who have no idea about childcare. OK, maybe just one dad. But really that’s all. And they are not portrayed as blustering, macho fools who have no concept of what their wives do all day, every day, to take care of home and family … and then come to a sudden revelation of their wife’s worth and sacrifice at the end of the movie. No, these guys are pretty clued in from the beginning. So it’s nice that we don’t have to wade through the tired “clueless dad” clichés.

For me the funniest parts of the movie were the “throw away” lines – lines of dialogue that are just thrown in randomly and casually. The funny is understated, and that what makes it funny. You’re not beaten over the head with overt humor; you have to pay attention, and I like that. Just like in life, the humor is all around in this movie.

Don’t get me wrong – I laughed out loud at some parts. Sometimes it was because I could relate to something a character did or said. I recognized a part of myself in them. Sometimes it was just the silliness of a situation that made it funny. Like Trace Atkins as a tough biker, sitting in the reception area of a police station, taking about what he saw recently on Pinterest. Or the flakey, spacey, Afro-wearing male receptionist at the tattoo parlor who asks our three church-going ladies to leave because they are scaring the shop’s biker clientele.

I don’t want to share too much about the plot, because I hate it when someone spoils a movie for me like that. So you will just have to see what I am talking about when you watch the movie yourself.

But the message of the movie really struck home for me. And every movie like this must have a message. The message of not having to live up to someone else’s expectations was one I needed to hear that night. We too often put undue pressure on ourselves to live up to a certain set of standards, and we define our worth by how well we meet those standards. All we need to do is remember who we are, and WHOSE we are. And we can rest in that, and quit trying so hard to impress others – we can give ourselves a little slack. As I said, a good message that I needed to hear.

In case you haven’t seen it yet, here’s a link to the movie on Amazon.com:

As you can probably tell, I recommend it.

What’s a movie that you’ve seen recently that you enjoyed? Share it in the comments section below. I’d love to get some good recommendations from you!

Oct162014

OZ Naturals Skincare – 2 Week Update

OZ Naturals Skincare

Well, it’s been two weeks since I started using the OZ Naturals skincare products that the company provided for me to use and to review on this blog. I have been faithful to use them, morning and night, and I must say – I am impressed with them.

I was fully expecting to find them lacking in comparison to the skincare system I am currently using. But here it is, two weeks in, and I am still sticking with using them. Here is what I have seen so far:

My skin is very soft. And smooth. It was smooth and soft to begin with, but no change in texture so that is a good sign.
No break outs. Usually, when you try a new skincare system there is a period of “adjustment” for your skin, and sometimes pimples and breakouts are the result. But none here!
The serum’s go on smoothly and evenly. The one “downside” I have noticed is that they don’t absorb into my skin as quickly as the other skincare line’s serum does, but hey – you can’t have everything. And they are a little more sticky than the creamier serum I have used previously – but so far they are giving me good results.
I was nervous about using the eye gel, because I wear contacts – and I want to be careful about what I use around my eyes for that reason. The current eye cream I was using was great, and it was ophthalmologist-tested to be safe for contact lens wearers so no worries there. I wasn’t so sure about the OZ Naturals eye gel, but so far there have been no problems.

I will post pictures when I am all done with the test period – at the end of the month. So stay tuned for those. I have decided to have some before and after photos, sans makeup. Yikes! This is a bit scary for me, so you will have to wait and see if I chicken out in the meantime. But for now, the plan is to post photos with the final review.

So in the interim, please check out these products at Amazon.com:

Starting Over … Again

a new blog, a new start